Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Cokelat
Karma
Sekian lama kita bersama
Ternyata kau juga
Sama saja
Kau kira kupercaya semua
S'gala tipu daya
Oh percuma
Kau buat sempurna awalnya
Berakhir bencana
Selamat tinggal sayang...
Bila umurku panjang
Kelak ku 'kan datang
'Tuk buktikan satu balas 'kan kau jelang
Jangan menangis sayang
Ku ingin kau rasakan pahitnya terbuang
Sia-sia, memang kau pantas dapatkan
Akhirnya, usai sudah semua
Kudapat tertawa
Bahagia
S'lalu tampak indah awalnya
Berakhir bencana....
and i am back where i started.
alone. naturally.
but i am ready. prepared.
to take the flight.
i am ready to move on.
friendship forever?
fuck off.
alrite.
i'm available.
bring it on!
--insignificant lies--
6:44 pm
i need to change.
--insignificant lies--
12:56 am
Monday, March 29, 2004
i am so sleepy now.
just now really felt like dying la.
so sleepy to the point i can feel myself falling off my bed.
tmr got napfa test.
gonna fail.
well wats the big deal.
im a major failure anyways.
time to work harder,
i suppose.
i take life easy i guess.
maybe too easy.
cannot let b nag at me anymore.
must do hw.
yes! yes!
well..gtg now.
need to sleepies.
--insignificant lies--
11:56 pm
by the way.... i love us.
--insignificant lies--
2:25 am
just got off the phone.
cant sleep.
had another long bare your soul chat session.
now i cant sleep.
feel happy. definitely happier.
cos now i know how to handle it all.
and i know that everything is true. all the feelings.
i believe it now.
euphoric.
in
love. madly.
anyways!!!!!
i want to give a shout out to my girlie..
my sister..my fren...
SURANSI NATALLY HODJATZADEH
happy birthday girl!!! i really love u alot. and thanks for being the bestest pal anyone could ask for. and for understanding me so completely. and i hope that i will be ur bestest best fren for years and years ahead.
i want us to be frens to the point that our beautiful hair become all white already. hehe... ;) i love u gazillions and millions....
ps. birthday gift wait first eh...hee*
--insignificant lies--
2:13 am
Thursday, March 25, 2004
i just cut my hair today.
short. spiky. but still girlie.
tts wat i told the hairstylist.
i think im addicted to cutting hair as a form of therapy.
i really miss babe now. havent talk to her today.
and i really want to just hold her in my arms.
and i want to cry. cry. cry.
i think i am going mad la. i even poured out my soul to ms soh today.
its like she asked me why i look so stoned and sad..she say she noticed it for two days already.
and i just needed someone to talk to..someone older. and i guess i just poured it all out.
feel better after tt. but now...
oh and thanks to all the peepz for your concern. i will be ok. soon. not now. but soon.
real soon.
--insignificant lies--
11:55 pm
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Lapit mga kaibigan at makinig kayo
Ako'y may dala-dalang, balita galing sa bayan ko
Nais kong ipamahagi ang mga kwento
Ang mga pangyayaring nagaganap
Sa lupang pinangako
i really dunno wat to say actually.
im kinda confused.kinda sad.
but i cant be feeling all this.
i got to be strong.
yeah babe?
i just feel i need to protect you.
and so i will stop it.
i wont think of possibilities.
i'll forget you.
how ironic.
im moving on for you.
sad. weird. pissed.
damn bitches. why?
its all society's fault.
damn them!
damn damn.
and all i wanted was a chance to be with you.
but babe...
i think i am in too deep.
how?
grr. feel like crying now.
i got to move on!
fark! fark!
hold me pls.
someone pls.
take me in your arms.
please.
--insignificant lies--
11:19 pm
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
kembali ceria
by
Misha Omar
sungguh indahnya senyumanmu
tak mungkin ku lupakan
kata mu bergema di kalbu
terasa terpaku
hanya dikaulah yang ku sayang
di dalam bintang seribu
hanya itulah yang ku pinta
oh cinta yang satu
tak rela terpisah sayangku
tak rela di jauhi
rindukan belaian kasih mu
hadirlah di sisi
izinkan cinta ku bertakhta
di hati mu selamanya
kau telah menyinari hidup ku
kembali ceria
ku doakan demi cinta kita
yang diabadikan
tak perlu lagi meragui
kesucian hati
izinkan cinta ku bertakhta
di hati mu selamanya
kau telah menyinari hidup ku
kembali ceria
*babe..this is for u. i dunno wat to do anymore. but know this i will be strong for u. *
--insignificant lies--
10:37 pm
secrets
different ways but all the same
evident and we can't hide
we run away quickly
our legs moving quickly
and yet here we are again
facing each other
in this whirlpool
and we are shaken
we are stirred
and when we look
our lips quiver
our legs
they melt.
i am brave enough
fighting those dragons
that bite at me
and glare
fiery eyes and tongue
but u hide behind my metal shield
and when the dragon comes from behind
you are devoured
and i am the only one left standing
still in that whirpool
where the water is bloody red
tainted by the blood
oozing from my eyes.
lost in
this space
i don't want to go on
alone
my heart tattered and torn
with the remnants of ur heart
muddled beside me
as the food to my soul.
--insignificant lies--
12:29 am
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
i got maths test tmr.
still havent study
n i really for gods sake know nothing!!!!
nothing!!!
nothing!!!!!
grr.
so bloody idiot.
n i already feel like sleeping.
tmr still got to see ms soh.
tmr got detention.
then must see ms soh.
then go home must pack.
n fucking maths test!!!!
think i shall get zero!
yay!!!
fuck it all la.
my maths is getting worse n worse la.
grr.
fuck ms soh.
grr.
n just when i tot i would work hard.
kiss my ass la.
--insignificant lies--
10:27 pm
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
oh yah!
ps. today on the way home tried to teach agnes how to read malay.
n new words as usual la! hahaha...
all bad words la.
n in the train..agnes had trouble pronouncing ngan.
haha..she kept on pronouncing it 'an'
haha..
so her jangan...become jaAN...hahaha
funny sia.laugh so loud. everyone here us la. malu.
but funny like shit.
i dunno why. but suddenly think abt train.
i think abt a certain person whom i secretly
admire that i usually see in the train in the morn.
so sad this morn never see. :(
nvm.
not good for the health also.
i think it bites la anyways. so i shld ctrl.
yesh!
--insignificant lies--
10:21 pm
yoz.
finally got some time to blog la.
grr.
i've been really tired these past few days. go home only i sleep. like nak mati.
yest no beep test. postponed to today. cos raining.
so fiah, farah,agnes n yan wei came over my place.
i cooked for them kicap sambal ayam with lotsa GINGER!
i think afiah n yan wei were really shocked i could cook.
well cant take the credit all to myself. farah helped cut stuff.
n she was my no. 1 taster.
hehe...
i think its really cool now that yan wei seems so happy. she 's like really carefree now.
i guess that's why she was free to come yest. it was really great.
after me cooking(while the rest were watching friends), we ate nice nice. then sat around my dining table. eating happily.
really felt like dinner.
cos the whole place was dark.
cos its raining.
then we sat ard the table and laugh n talk.
love it!!!
love them!!!
see this is what a team is about!
after talking abt a lot of stuff..
haha..we moved to my room.
then all 5 of us squeezed on my bed.
n talk shit all the way.
found out a lot of interesting things.
haha.. guess im not the only
HORNY one!!!
haha...n farah!!! still think u shld be a butch!
hehe...
anyways... today beep test. lemme just say my gurls are cunning.
but i improved. did 7.3
not such a great improvement.
but considering i pulled my hamstring in the morn during PE...
think i did just fine!
im the best!
love me. love me.
by the way leaving for KL on fri.
dont miss me when im gone.
;)
i'll only be back on thurs!
--insignificant lies--
10:18 pm
Thursday, March 04, 2004
hi
im bored out of my mind.
yeah.
today we were talking abt pretty ml girls in aj. me rejab n farah la. then i said there were 6 girls. then farah said tt...cuma ada satu yang tinggal.
n yesh the one tt is available is me! haha...
i would have to say tt sounds a bit loserish. n makes me want to get a guy or something..but..then again..yah rite.
today for bio...we got to cut up sheeps heart after the bio pract test which i think i will fail. then cut the sheeps heart rite..super gross..super smelly.. then it reminded me why i dont eat red meat. gross gross.
i was thnking...maybe i shld go n find a girl. hmm...interesting.. hahahaha... i want some ppl to eat their hearts out.
im just plain evil. god*
tmr i might be going down for my sis' debate. hope rupi is there. i really miss her man. havent seen rupi in ages. i tell u..rupi is super darn cute. cant handle!
hahahaha... kk.. peace out!
--insignificant lies--
6:27 pm
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
i feel more crescent sick. read the comments u guys left me on the prev entry. so sweet. thanks asiah. i really needed to hear somethng abt azlin. :D
n j..yesh i do think about u... u are really someone special in my life. n though we dont see much of each other like last time..you n the rest of them....remy izz and edd...u guys are forever in my heart. :D
n khai... god...god...i really wish u were here rite now for me to talk to. only u understand how i feel about a certain love of my life.
well..anyways...
yest i met feli for awhile. tt was nice.
*GAWD! THIS IS MAKING ME MORE FREN SICK!!*
well... on to happier stuff...guess wat??? hahahaa...i
bought the misha CD today.. so so happy!!! eternal bliss.
thanks to keila for following me all the way to joo chiat.
had a great day though! despite leila's absence(she had to sned her fren off at airport).
then after going to muzika records..me n keila go to macs n eat two cone ice creams.
thanks for paying keila. n then we go c the vcd shop.
almost bought more vcds. notti notti.
then after tt we go to this fashion. shiokz!! the paya lebar one is damn big la.
haha...so we had fun trying on clothes. exciting stuff there.
haha..didnt know tt keila got sucha fervor for clothes as me.
--insignificant lies--
1:28 am
Monday, March 01, 2004
i want to blog.
but as i said to j... i'm too irritated to blog.
today i had strong inclination to buy misha's cd. tapi the place to buy it is too far.
grr.
as i said to j also..my brain works on overdrive at nite.
so now weirdly i am thinking of azlin.
there never seems a day when i dont think of her.
then when i think of azlin i think of khai.
then when i think of khai i think of su.
then now i think of j again.
haha...
great thought process there.
guess i'm just thinking of all the ppl i love.
i really miss azlin. how weird tt looks like typed out. haha.. internal joke.
miss azlin.
miss azlin.
M.A.A. = mad about azlin.
still remember this tissue paper tt sumi gave to me. she wrote on it with glittery pink pen "mad about azlin". hahaha.. those were the days.
see la khai.
u got me started. now i am thinking of all the old times.
feel like crying. really miss her. oh man.
if she is my soulmate. then im dead!
i'll be alone all my life.
gorgeous girl.
going.
gone.
fleeting fast.
like a beautiful butterfly.
love lost.
none. nothing.
i have nothing.
beating bravely.
trying to tackle the stars.
and in memorandum
my mischief makes me
more madly in love
with you.
--insignificant lies--
1:16 am
